Two things working against me in my search for the perfect job: age discrimination and fat discrimination. I can't change that I am pushing 60 even though I am told I don't look or act 60 (what does that even mean?). My ability to lose weight has been a constant struggle, but it is the thing I can change. I know I need to eat fewer calories and the better choices along with increasing my physical activity in order to lose weight. It seems like such simple things to do. The added complications of chronic metabolic disorders do not help. Other people have done it. I don't want to hit my 60th birthday in March still classified as morbidly obese. I want to be off all my diabetic medications, blood pressure and cholesterol medication. I won't give up my migraine prevention meds or my antidepressant even though I know they work against my weight loss goals.

My most recent A1C result (measurement of blood sugar control over time) was 7.1. This is much better than a year ago when I had hit over 14, which is seriously bad. My doctor wants me to get into the 6's. I need to find a way to work around my tendency to binge eat when I am stressed or depressed. Recently, I saw a program about people like me. Binge eating is now considered a medical condition along with bulimia and anorexia. It is like being a bulimic without the purging after the binge. It feels like something snaps inside me and I become an eating machine. I eat the worst things for my metabolism and diabetes. What I eat doesn't even have to taste all that great, it just has to be carbs.

I have been researching what to do to change and manage my issues. Atkin's doesn't work as I do need some carbs and it is too restrictive for a diabetic. It can cause kidney problems even in relatively healthy people. The kidneys and liver are vulnerable to damage from the diabetes and poor food choices.

The other issue I have is hypothyroidism. I had thyroid cancer several years ago and had the right lobe of my thyroid removed. The other half was supposed to take up the slack and didn't. I will be on Levothyroxin, a synthetic thyroid hormone, for the rest of my life. It has been difficult to find the right dosage. Sleep apnea contributes to a slower metabolism. I use a CPAP machine when I sleep and that does help. The incidences of apnea are down to 3 or 4 a night instead of the 300 that was measured with a sleep study.

The biggest key to change will be planning and following the plan. I am using the plan from "The Diabetes Breakthrough" by Osama Hamdi. The publisher's blurb states he is "A senior Harvard Medical School diabetologist and top exercise physiologist share a proven and effective 12-week plan to reverse diabetes, lose weight and ditch the medication for good." Obviously, it will take me a lot more time than 12 weeks to loose 140 pounds.

My goals in the 12 weeks left to 2015: the book says I should be able to healthily lose 60 to 70 pounds if I follow the plan to the letter. Realistically, considering what I know of myself, I am hoping for 2 to 3 pounds a week for a total of 30 pounds. If I work out as much as I need to and build muscle mass, 3 pounds a week is very do-able.  I have 24 weeks until my birthday. My plan is to be halfway to goal on my birthday and at goal a year from now. One of my problems in the past has been giving myself unrealistic goals. It is time to work smarter, not harder and avoid the failure mentality. Wish me luck and pray for strength and success!